At the end of every year, I often find myself at the end of a cup of tea wondering if the last 12 months have been a true testament of who I am. If I had done enough to justify the task I’m called to, if I learnt enough and what the next 12 months will look like, who I want to be. I think of what has been lost and gained and how those defined and moulded the fabric of my very existence. What I would do differently to build a better future.
So here are somethings I know to be true about 2021:
Life is fleeting, as we all learnt over the last two years. We’ve known this but even more urgently we learned it. We keep defining and redefining ourselves based on new moments. New joys and new losses, our hardships and our victories.
Softness is a lesson. There’s always room for softness and softness is a lesson that takes a lifetime to learn. In the hardships we have built armour around us. We’ve built hard shells and cracking those shells is a lifetime of work.
Death will come to us all. But it makes our human lives so much more meaningful. It allows us to place value on the things that matter. Love, peace, family and friendship. We hold them closer because we know they are finite and will not endure forever.
We are not the sum of our mistakes, we will fuck up. That is a given, is what we do after and what we repeatedly do after that matters.
Forgiveness is a gift, we give ourselves not others. Learning to forgive can be the hardest lesson of all. However, it is a gift that brings us peace. More importantly forgive yourself.
Don’t sweat the small stuff as they say. In the grand scheme of things there are far more precious things than little heartbreaks.
Always extend grace, no matter how many times you have done so before the extension of grace does not mean an invitation to your life. Yes, sometimes you will get hurt but it says more about the person hurting you that is about you. Grace is a gift that can heal.
Blocking is basement behaviour but maybe sometimes we also go to the basement for the sake of our peace.
Grief is potent and its toll can be exacting. It is a cocktail of loss, pain and love looking for a home where none exists. Allow it come how it comes, it cannot be controlled, tamed or forced.
Your peace should be your number one priority. Protect it at all costs.
Love is hard but keep loving no matter how many times your heart breaks. It is a strong muscle and it knows how to weave its way back even better. The sum of your heart breaks means you know how to love better.
Friendships are matters of the heart, treat them as such. They too need work and also their breaking needs time to heal.
Be kind always. Kindness takes nothing away from you. Be kind, always.
A friendship that stays you under pressure is worth a million in bliss. Friends that stay when you’re broken and not best self are better than those who would be there when you show up 100% for them all the time only.
Apologise when you are wrong, even more so when feelings are hurt. Everyone’s feelings are valid, whether you understand the hurt or not, apologise.
Know and own your truth. You cannot hide in the shadows of the fear of being seen. Allow yourself to be seen, the world might surprise you with its grace.
Poverty is something to understand not aspire to. Do not glorify poverty, aspire to rise and lift others from it.
Smile at little things because there are far too many things to cry about, so smiling at all the little things that come your way makes all the difference.
Health is wealth, do your doctor checkups, learn about everything going on with your body and do whatever it takes to heal it.
Learn new things, even things that seem impossible, brace yourself for a world of new adventures.
Be spontaneous. Take that trip. Move to a new city, country or continent. Kiss that person. Start something unexpected. Eat that damn cake and have champagne on an ordinary Tuesday.
Plans change, let them. It’s okay to make new ones some times something better comes along.