I heard a very interesting phrase recently: I live a wholesome life, I have options. Though the phrase was said in jest with regard to geographical constraints, access to restaurants and entertainment activities, it made me think. I have been thinking about it non-stop for seven days.

I live a wholesome life, I have options.

During the start of the pandemic a lot of us felt that many options were taken away from us, are freedom movement our freedom of contact and our freedom of affection even was taken from us. For nomads like me, and especially those who live alone the options were very hard to find. The bulk of the time was spent trying to figure out how to keep ourselves entertained. It was spent trying to make sure we didn’t go crazy bouncing off the walls. We started getting our homes comfortable so we could feel a sense of balance and a sense of comfort in our spaces. For some of us we still live in that headspace where we are trying so much to figure out how we create options that we forget we already have options.

Everything in this life is a choice and I have always said this, barring some geopolitical and sociopolitical issues, in most things we have a choice. I live a wholesome life, I have option. Often as young people we look at our lives in very black and white contexts. We look at the jobs we have and the spaces we occupy, the relationships we have and the friendships we are in and we stay in them because we forget we have options.

I once spoke to a friend who was talking about the liberation you get in leaving a job. She said to me: “you know at one point at the company they made me feel like I had no other options and it was then I had to snap myself out of myself because I had options so I went out and I sought new opportunities.” She now has a great new job, where they treat her so well and she’s thriving.

The bonds and the ties of growing up and adulting often leads us feeling terrified to make risky leaps of faith. We say to ourselves I can’t to quit my job even though I’m miserable and it’s slowly killing me because I need to worry about how I pay rent. We think about the monetary in our lives, how we support ourselves financially and this is really important to think about and it very valid.

But at what cost do we but the monetary benefits of security to our wellbeing? My younger sister, the real OG of my life, like I say to people I have many best friends, but if I’m being honest, she’s truly the love of my life and my bestest friend. She has great clarity on her life, she said to me: “I love what I do, but I also want to enjoy my life.”

We want to keep living this hustle and grind that we inherited about working to live. I want to enjoy my life. I want to work and I want to play and I want to be in my life. These are the things we must also be equally valid when think about our lives and work. As young people life is not that long it may seem like it is until you get to the end and then you look at your laundry list of regrets.

We live wholesome lives, we have options. If we feel we don’t, then we need to address the things in our lives that are making us feel like we don’t. Money can always be made but a life unlived can never be relived. Moments are precious. Use your options build out the incredible things you want to do. Take that vacation with your friends (after covid). Have a lazy day on your couch and read a book. Spend that extra 50 bucks on that bottle of wine that you’ve been wanting to try. Let the rewards of your hard work be enjoyed by you and the people around you. Don’t feel trapped by the life you think you have.

I never want to be in a position where I feel I don’t have options. I never want to ask for the approval of a company or a job. I never want to beg for the love of friend or partner. I live a wholesome life, I have options and those options allow me to find myself every day because every day I am changing. I’m evolving, I’m learning and I’m growing. These options allow me to soar. We cannot allow ourselves to forget: we live wholesome lives, we have options.