If the pandemic hadn’t happened, I probably would never have quit my job. I would have been happy doing what I was doing, traveling and nothing would be wrong. I would have been comfortable and that comfort would have led to complacency, chances are I wouldn’t have noticed it. Lockdown, made me uncomfortable, it made me think and reflect and asked me what I wanted and where I was going.

Recently a friend and I came to the conclusion that sometimes, God needs to make you incredibly uncomfortable so you can step into your next glory. I truly believe that. The pandemic for me was a moment to shake myself out of my comfort into glorious discomfort.

I had been thinking and theorising about writing a book for the better part of ten years. I always seem to find a reason not to, I didn’t have enough time, I didn’t have enough inspiration, even though all around me inspiration was pouring out of every orifice and my life was brimming with it.

I live an inspired life, I have had the privilege to travel the world and I have met incredible people with amazing stories. Yet, I couldn’t find inspiration to write, until I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere but my house. I was so caught up in my isolation. Driven to the edge by it, that there was only one thing left for me to do was write. So, I wrote my heart out.

The best part of my days was when I was writing. When my calendar will time me it was time to walk. I would put on my gear, slot in my earphones and let the melodies of numerous artists guide my heart; as I walked the three kilometers up and down my property complex. In those moments as I stared into some majestic beauty of the world. The words would come.

I would think of my friends and I would write my feelings for them. I would think about my family and the moments that we used to have before this pandemic and I would think about how I felt to have those moments and the words would come. I would think about my former loves, how we would spend lazy days in the sun holding hands and smiling while eating ice cream. I would think of the joy and the peace these moments brought and I would write about. I would think about my mother and friends that I have lost. I would think about the heartbreak of those moments, and this one and losses being felt around the world and I would write.

Writing as always been a great ambition of mine, one I had allowed to fall away, I didn’t feed it and I found excuses to let its fire extinguish. As walked the length of the block, my neighours thinking I am probably crazy for typing on my phone as I walked, I thought these stories I carried with me. These amazing pieces that existed in perfect memory balls my mind and heart. They followed me around in three kilometres segments for months and when the walk was done, not one but two books were born. An ambition I feel I would truly lost if I wasn’t shaken into discomfort.

Writing in the pandemic gave me purpose, a new kind of ambition if you will. We often think of ambition as something that must follow our career path – the job we are in. Getting promoted getting, a raise getting, a bigger job title. For some people that’s the dream and it is perfectly okay.

However, there are different kinds of ambition that we never think about. The ambition to live wholesome lives. The ambition to be inspired by the world we’re in, the ambition to be inspired by the people we are the people we want to be. Ambition can be personal and it always means growth. Ambition can be finding other elements to your life outside the job you do.

I was told recently that I had not been incredibly welcoming and in fact I hadn’t been a good friend. That’s something that I took too hard because one of my greatest ambitions in life is to be a good friend, to be a safe space for the people I love. Hearing that I wasn’t made me question everything. It hurt me so much that it shook my confidence and my faith in things I believed in. The fabric of that confidence fell off my skin and all that was left was something and someone I couldn’t recognise. I allowed that to live with me longer than it ever should have.

I allowed the people that said that to me to have a hold on my heart. An ambition so dear to me was taken away from me by a few careless words. I know that was not the intent, I know those words came from a place of hurt but still I allowed it to rob me of something precious.

Letting it rob me of my ambition was my fault. We do that, we allow other people to decide how our ambition plays out. The feedback we get from performance reviews, the promotions we don’t get. We allow these things to question whether or not our ambitions are valid. We must stop, no one can rob you of your ambition without your consent. Because the thing about ambition is no matter what kind it is, it is ours. There’s no such thing as being too ambitious.

Ambition is a fuel that propels inspiration. Gets us to do more, show up more, to truly build something we can be proud of no matter its size or category. Ambition is a thousand stars burning up the night sky, letting you know your path is the right one.