Life is funny. It is a funny old world where one day you are excited and happy and in charge and you feel so in control of everything that you’re doing. Then the next thing you are spinning out of control. You’re struggling to get out of bed or your own head, you can’t decide if you’re making the right choices you.
Sometimes you feel like you have lost control of everything and life seems like the hardest thing to do. That’s when you realise, you are an adult. Adulting is a complex thing. It’s freedom, it’s restriction. It is beauty and grace. It is pain, hurt, happiness and joy sometimes all at once. It’s struggle, it’s wins and everything else in between.
So here’s what I know.
Laugh. Laugh as often as you can. Laugh at yourself, at anything that is remotely funny or brings you joy. Laugh from your belly, use it to find joy, even when it seems out of reach.
Make friends. Find and build your tribe, find people who support you and you can support, people that will make you want to be better. People that will have the tough conversations with you and show you love in the process.
Learn to understand yourself. Grow daily, make enough mistakes to learn from them. Learn to understand the people around you. Knowing yourself enough that you can be yourself around them and they can be themselves around you completely.
Never underestimate the power of a well crafted text message. Sometimes we lose ourselves in the heat of the moment of communication. A thoughtful message can make all the difference in the world. To someone hurting. To our broken hearted. It can even heal a broken friendship.
Eat all your desserts because you have one life to live and let’s face it, it is short. It might seem long but is actually quite short so enjoy your dessert. Enjoy all the sugar your body is willing to handle.
Drink champagne. You should always be toasting to someone or something amazing. Every good moment needs a toast, even the bad ones. Toast to lessons, your life is worth celebrating every day, especially when it doesn’t feel like it.
Break up with friends. There are times when a friendship must and should end, you have to let them. A friendship that only breaks your heart but never heals it is not worth it, leave and don’t look back.
Be a safe space. Create space for the things and the ones you love. Show them constantly and unapologetically that you love them. Hold space and allow others to hold space for you.
Vanity is a dangerous thing. Hold a mirror to yourself and see your flaws first before pointing out those of others. Always ask yourself why, why am I doing this? and what was my role in this situation? Vanity serves no one, and will steal your humility.
Say you’re sorry. Say it often. We are humans, we make mistakes every day and sometimes we are aware. Say when you’re wrong and sometimes even when you’re not. Hurt is a very personal thing and the things that hurt can easily be so small.
Fight for the the things you care about. Stand up for something or will have nothing to fall for. Get a fucking backbone! The thing about growing up is that often you will be out ledge by yourself, so if you fall let it be worth it.
Be grateful, say thank you often. Be thankful for the little moments. Say thank you not just as an act of gratitude but a show of kindness. It takes nothing away from you to say thank you.
Take mini breaks. The stresses of adulthood can wear you down. Allow your body and your mind to regroup and heal. Give yourself time to recharge for a world that is constantly changing the rules of the game.
The game is the game. If you’re playing it, we’re here now so play. Tapping out half through serves no one. Be prepared for the things you get into and commit to the search of finding out who you are amongst it. The game is the game.
Create a do nothing day. Have a day of half one every so often when you do nothing. Sit on your couch, read, watch tv, listen to a podcast and stay away from social media and people. Have a do nothing day.
Have no room for disrespect. Do not allow anyone or any situation to disrespect you. Respect yourself enough for always be the bigger person, walk away when confronted with small mindedness. You are better than that.
Be bold. Be bold enough to say yes, be bold enough to say no. Take all the risks and all the chances. Create new opportunities for yourself and those around be bold.
Love is infinite. You can always make more. Your heart is big enough for everyone around you. Loving someone doesn’t mean giving up others, love is not compromise. Love is infinite, you can always make more.