I woke up this morning and was reminded that today is World Mental Health Day. I have been thinking about this for a few weeks, what it means, not just a day for our mental health, but to acknowledge our mental health period.  I think this year’s World Mental Health Day is doubly important considering where we are and what we have all been going through and how  people are feeling right now. 

If you read this blog regularly, you know that in the last 18 months it has been heavily focused on dealing with the traumas of the pandemic and how we have all been feeling, how we are all trying to deal, how we are all trying to find healing and peace. Those who know me well have noticed the intense strain that not just the pandemic but other life issues has put on my mental health. 

I think we all are dealing with so many extenuating circumstances that are putting pressures on our mental health. We are all struggling. This period our depressions are becoming more pronounced. Some of us are finding language for the ways we’ve been feeling for years. We are learning the careful art of articulation, introspectively looking at our feelings, addressing our moods, holding ourselves not others accountable for how we react and how we feel. The pandemic exposed those feelings and those of us that were/are willing to do the work on ourselves it helped us understand. 

As I reflected on world mental health during my meditation this morning. I couldn’t help but think about how we affect each other’s mental health. How do we as individuals impact other people? What strains do we put on other people’s mental health, are we a source of strength or anxiety. In the last few weeks I have repeated the following sentence to a few people and to myself: “I never want to be the instrument of someone’s emotional torture”. That is the worst possible thing I could be. It is so important to do whatever is necessary for your peace. Even if it hurts somebody else’s pride, if your peace requires you to take a step back from the world, to hide for a little bit, to go quiet on social media, turn off your phone for a couple of hours or a couple of days, block a friend or family member from contacting you. That is what you must do.It is important to do that. There are too many strains on our mental health for us to keep allowing that need to be there for everybody else to supersede the need to be there for ourselves. I’m very guilty of being there for everybody else because it is what I love to do. 

I feel very called to be there for the people I care about. I feel I am called to support people because that is how I was raised. That is what I saw my family do. That’s what my parents did and I thoroughly enjoy it. But I was recently asked  a question by a very good friend who said to me: “I hope the people you do so much for do the same for you because I see the emotional baggage that you carry around, I hope I am there for you as much as you are for me. Are people doing for you what you do for them?” 

It is so important to see the traumas that people carry around and help them carry it, if you can. I hope that I help my friends, family and anyone who asks to carry those traumas, I hope we all do. However, I hope we see our own traumas and we take a breath to assess how much of the traumas we are carrying belong to us and to others and if there is enough room for all of it.  Are we giving ourselves enough voice to ask for help? Putting ourselves first on the to do list of emotional care. We’ve taken all the precautions to safeguard our physical health, but have we taken enough precautions to safeguard our mental health. 

This is critical. Here are some practical ways to begin: 

• Therapy – talk to a professional, they are really good and can help
• Use some apps. Headspace and Calm are great for meditating and clearing your mind from all the clutter of the world. 
• Talkspace is great for online therapy, I use a combo of Talkspace and regular in-person therapy
• Betterhelp is also another great one, friends of mind use this a lot and say great things.
• Talk to your friends and your family – if you give the world/people a chance it will surprise you with its grace.

I always say here that we need to give more grace at this time, we need to be kinder. We need to show more kindness, but at this time, for us to show that grace, and that kindness to ourselves, because it is a dangerous thing for a mind to carry so much hurt, so much pain and so much strain without any form of support or release.

As my therapist always says, if you want to heal a broken heart you must first make sure you understand why it broke. 

So on this World Mental Health Day, take a moment to put yourself first, show yourself some grace and ask for help when needed, healing doesn’t happen in isolation, fear is temporary and love is innate and infinite.